am in Heaven now, sitting on Jesusí lap. He loves me and cries
with me; for my heart has been broken. I so wanted to be your
little girl. I donít quite understand what has happened. I was
so excited when I began realizing my existence. I was in a dark,
yet comfortable place. I saw I had fingers and toes. I was pretty
far along in my developing, yet not near ready to leave my
surroundings. I spent most of my time thinking or sleeping. Even
from my earliest days, I felt a special bonding between you and
I heard you crying and I cried with you. Sometimes you would yell
or scream, then cry. I heard Daddy yelling back. I was sad, and
hoped you would be better soon. I wondered why you cried so much.
day you cried almost all of the day. I hurt for you. I couldnít
imagine why you were so unhappy. That same day, the most horrible
thing happened. A very mean monster came into that warm,
comfortable place I was in. I was so scared, I began screaming,
but you never once tried to help me. Maybe you never heard me.
monster got closer and closer as I was screaming and screaming,
"Mommy, Mommy, help me please; Mommy, help me." Complete
terror is all I felt. I screamed and screamed until I thought I
couldnít anymore. Then the monster started ripping my arm off.
It hurt so bad; the pain I can never explain. It didnít stop.
Oh, how I begged it to stop. I screamed in horror as it ripped my
I was in such complete pain, I was dying. I knew I would never see
your face or hear you say how much you love me. I wanted to make
all your tears go away. I had so many plans to make you happy. Now
I couldnít; all my dreams were shattered. Though I was in utter
pain and horror, I felt the pain of my heart breaking, above all.
I wanted more than anything to be your daughter. No use now, for I
was dying a painful death. I could only imagine the terrible
things that they had done to you. I wanted to tell you that I love
you before I was gone, but I didnít know the words you could
understand. And soon, I no longer had the breath to say them; I
felt myself rising. I was being carried by a huge angel into a big
beautiful place. I was still crying, but the physical pain was
gone. The angel took me to Jesus and set me on His lap. He said He
loved me, and He was my Father. Then I was happy. I asked Him what
the thing was that killed me. He answered, "Abortion. I am
sorry, my child; for I know how it feels." I donít know
what abortion is; I guess thatís the name of the monster.
writing to say that I love you and to tell you how much I wanted
to be your little girl. I tried very hard to live. I wanted to
live. I had the will, but I couldnít; the monster was too
powerful. It sucked my arm and legs off and finally got all of me.
It was impossible to live. I just wanted you to know I tried to
stay with you. I didnít want to die. Also, Mommy, please watch
out for that abortion monster. Mommy, I love you and I would hate
for you to go through the kind of pain I did. Please be careful.